Would You Choose to Get Involved with Someone Who Has a Serious Illness?

A recent New York Times Modern Love column was about a woman who fell in love with a man who, after a few dates, told her he was HIV positive. He was also much older and a recovering alcoholic and had a teenage daughter. None of these factors were obstacles to her love and commitment. They married. He had one severe episode of AIDS-related pneumonia that almost ended his life. He recovered, and they continue loving each other. In fact, the presence of his illness helps them fight relationship complacency and not take each other for granted.

So here are my questions for you:

Did you know your partner was ill when you committed to the relationship?

If yes, did that make you hesitate?

What made you decide to commit any way?

If you knew then what you know now, would you have made the same choice?

If you chose to end the relationship early on, after finding out about your date's illness, why did you make that choice? Did you ever regret it?

Memorial for My Father

This weekend the extended family is making a pilgrimage to the Catskill Mountains where we spent summers as kids. We city kids were so lucky to have two months every year to get lost in the woods, dig up earthworms as bait for fishing expeditions, swim in an isolated mountain lake, have campfires with roasted marshmallows and silly songs, play endless games of canasta and hide and seek....and be a family together.

We are returning to the place of many of our best times to remember my father. It's a testament to how well he was loved that relatives from all over are gathering. His rabbi said he was an "adam shem tov," a man of good name. He was the most good man I know. He is why I married a very good man.

He taught me about happiness and he taught me how not to throw a baseball like a girl.

I love you Dad and will always miss you. Have a good passage.